Posted by: cali4dre | September 24, 2009

First Edition: Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes

First Edition – Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes: 

 (This will be a new weekly series, as long as Chuck Norris allows it…)


Chuck Norris Approved10) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. 

9)  Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. 

8 )  The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

7)  There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

6)  Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.chuck norris toilet paper

5)  Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

4)  Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

3)  Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

2)  Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

1)  There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. 



  1. The Fresno Grizzlies had a Scott McClain bobblehead doll promotion this past July. Problem is they sold him to Japan in April! So before he left they recorded a video goodbye… and part of the voice-over what that he “is so awesome he wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed every night.”

    Good stuff :o)

  2. I love Chuck Norris!! Your Blog looks great, I like the pictures and videos as they keep the reader entertained. Great story about Tebow. Might I suggest your next story be about the Colorado Rockies and how awesome they are!!!

    Arthur Garcia

  3. Andre,

    LOL! I think I’ve seen this somewhere else before. Thank you for the humor on this Sunday night!


  4. You can never go wrong with a Chuck Norris joke!

  5. The Chuck Norris weekly posts are a great way to have people come back to the blog!

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