Posted by: cali4dre | October 7, 2009

Legalize It: Smoking Cigars on SF Courses

Not everyone looks good in floppy hats

Not everyone looks good in floppy hats

For a large percentage of the folks who enjoy the sport, smoking cigars and playing golf go hand-in-hand.  You’ll see guys lighting up a stogie in good weather and in bad, during a good round and through the shanks.  And it seems as though the wealthier the golfer, the more abundant the cigars. 

Which brings me to our subject today, the Honorary Assistant Captain of the US President’s Cup Team, Michael Jeffrey Jordan, “His Airness”.  This weekend the 8th President’s Cup will be hosted at Harding Park in San Francisco, pitting a talented US Team versus an International Team comprised of the top twelve players in the world outside of the US and continental Europe.  Harding Park is a municipal course owned by the Parks and Recreations of San Francisco, and hosting a tournament of this magnitude is a tremendous and distinct honor.  And for Jordan being selected an Honorary assistant to Captain Fred Couples is another great perk for the basketball legend and celebrity.

Jordan spotted preparing for his role as Honorary Asst. Captain... in Cabo!

Jordan spotted preparing for his role as Honorary Assistant Captain... in Cabo!

Along with being a course of the people comes the laws of the people, specifically health ordinances recently put into play.  Little known fact: San Francisco banned the smoking of cigars (and cigarettes of course) as part of a city-wide ordinance to keep the city parks smoke-free.  And Harding is certainly near the top of the list in terms of kept up Parks in the city.  I’ll also vouch for beautifully kept Fleming, the nine-hole executive course located on the same property between Harding’s front and back nine.

Honorary Assistant Captain Jordan was spotted on Tuesday at Harding in a practice round with a very large stogie simmering away.  Heck we have the pictures to prove it.  Only problem is, if the city wanted to prosecute, the most they could do is send him a ticket for a measly $100.  One would guess Jordan could pay the fine with one of the benjamins he uses to light a new cigar, but he doesn’t, he uses old thousand dollar bills and would have to ask for change.

His Airness after he heard about the $100 fine

His Airness after he heard about the $100 fine

So the debate rages on: Should Jordan obey the order from the city or should he ignore it for this special occasion?  He was asked about the topic and responded by saying he knew it was wrong but thought he could slide by in this situation.  Asked in an interview by PGATour.com how many cigars he would smoke during the week, “I would say (it’s) a three-cigar round. I would try to keep it at a minimum of three.”  That’s right, a MINIMUM of three per day.

After further review, I think the city should uphold its ordinance in this situation, and follow Jordan around the course all week.  If/when he smokes three per day, over the next 5 days, send him 15 tickets at $100 a pop.  For a guy like Jordan this is tip money at most, and in a city like San Francisco his money is more than welcome.  Whether or not I agree with the ordiannce is a different story, but the law is the law!  Reflecting back on his recent Hall of Fame induction speech, Jordan’s not the only one who can leave a bad taste in someone’s mouth…

Posted by: cali4dre | October 5, 2009

Facebook Ruins Lives: Greatest Hits

These are great… more examples of how Facebook ruins lives.  Or relationships.  Or friendships.  Or makes life really embarrassing and overall miserable for a while.   You decide… 

 http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/gallery/0,23816,5060868-5007115,00.html

Posted by: cali4dre | October 2, 2009

Second Edition – Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes

Second Edition – Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes: 

 

CatChuckNorrisKick10 ) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

9 ) Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

8 ) Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. 

7 ) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

6 ) Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks one pin down and the other nine faint.

chuck-norris-own-country5 ) Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. 

4 ) Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

3 ) Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip. 

2 ) Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

1 ) There is in fact an “I” in Norris, but there is no “team”… not even close.

 

I can't due KKK jokes? But I have so many!!

I can't do KKK jokes? But I have so many!!

09-24-09 – In the final installment of “Coaches Gone Wild”, we’re treated to a true ‘Pearl of Wisdom’.  If Bruce Pearl thought his job was tough before throwing around race jokes at charity events, the next few months should prove to be several times worse.  Pearl, the head men’s basketball coach at the University of Tennessee, was one of the featured speakers at a kickoff for charity fundraiser among Tennessee Valley Authority employees.  He took questions from the crowd, and one person asked him about his three new players this year. Part of his response was as follows:

“I’ve got a tough job. I’ve got to put these guys from different worlds together, right? I’ve got guys from Chicago, Detroit. I’m talking about the hood! And I’ve got guys from Grainger County, where they wear the hood!” Pearl said. After a pause, he added, “That wasn’t part of the script.”

Bruce Pearl: The V is for Volatile

Bruce Pearl: The V is for Volatile

  The Apology:

“This morning while speaking at a private kick-off event for a great organization that benefits many local charities, I made a statement in jest to describe the diverse group our staff recruits year-in and year-out.

“Unfortunately while I was trying to excite the crowd and encourage employees to give, I made an inappropriate joke. I certainly did not intend to offend anyone and I apologize to everyone, especially the people of Grainger County.

“In no way am I trying to justify what I said, but I’m disappointed that the focus has been placed on me rather than the charities I was there to help. My only hope is that the visibility of this mistake will encourage those who can to give to those in need during these difficult times.”

Can you tell which one had to where a costume to look like a dog?

Can you tell which one had to where a costume to look like a dog?

The man is charismatic, there’s no denying that, as evidenced in the photo where he painted a “V” on his chest in support of the Lady Vols.  He’s a great motivator and speaker, apparently knowing his audience there in Tennessee to a fault.  Even the folks from the county to which Pearl refers, Grainger, didn’t have a problem with the comment and laughed it off, saying they understood it to be a joke.  That’s fine, I guess, but what about the kids he referred to from “the hood”?  So far we haven’t heard from them, and I doubt we will, but I’m curious to know what they think.

After further review, Bruce Pearl seems to be getting a free pass and that really worries me.  It shouldn’t be ok for a coach to slip up and draw race cards to excite the crowd.  The fact that the crowd enabled the joke to succeed, at a charity event, is pretty scary as well… but that’s a different story for a different day.  I just hope Bruce Pearl can think of better ways in the future of getting his audience to donate to charity.

 

Posted by: cali4dre | September 30, 2009

Coaches Gone Wild, Part III: Tough Month for Lobo Coaches

Coach Locksley: Mistake waiting to happen

Coach Locksley: Mistake waiting to happen

09-20-09 – Part III of our continuing saga brings to light the story of New Mexico head coach Mike Locksley, who reportedly punched an assistant coach in the face and split his lip.  New Mexico athletic director Paul Krebs said Locksley was issued “a verbal reprimand” with a follow-up letter placed in his personnel after the Sept. 20 altercation.  Nice slap on the wrist for a punch in the face, don’t you think?

Fortunately we do have police reports available to help better understand the situation.  According to the report filed, wide receivers coach J.B. Gerald said the fight happened during a coaches meeting that became heated, and before he knew it Locksley had grabbed Gerald by the collar and punched.  Apparently other coaches tried to intervene.

Athletic director Krebs apparently tried to pawn the scuffle off by saying it’s not unusual in college football for coaches to have “heated discussions” during staff meetings.  He did admit “this one crossed the line,”  however it was just before expressing continued support for Coach Locksley, whom he hired after last season.

“I do not believe this is a reflection of his dealings. It’s not a reflection of his character. This does not shake my faith in his leadership whatsoever,” Krebs told reporters.  I disagree, as every action you take defines your character, good or bad.  Fortunately for Coach Locksley, Gerald told police he didn’t want to file charges after receiving an apology from Locksley that extended to Gerald, the coaching staff and the team as a whole.  “I would also like to apologize to Lobo fans,” Locksley said. “Like I remind our players, when mistakes are made, you acknowledge them and deal with the consequences.”

At first they thought this was a dumb idea... now? not so much

At first they thought this was a dumb idea... now? not so much

It’s always nice to know the school AD has your back when decided to physically assault someone in a meeting room.  AD Krebs went so far as to say he considers the matter resolved, blaming the incident on the stress of coaching, and saying it was probably worsened by New Mexico’s winless start (0-4).  They even lost rival New Mexico St., which hadn’t happened in 6 years.  Yes, that’s right AD, blame it on the team’s inefficiency on the football field, which by the way is usually a direct reflection of a team’s coaching.

Not to bring up his past or anything, but… Coach Locksley, a first-year coach at UNM, is accused of sexual harassment, age discrimination and retaliation in an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission complaint filed last spring by a former football administrative assistant.  Apparently Locksley said he only wanted young woman working in the athletic department to help attract recuirts.  Again, AD Krebs said that case is “close to resolution” but wouldn’t discuss the details.  Why would he?  Sounds like Coach Locksley is a walking liability at this point.

Definitely scarier if they used their coaches face instead

Definitely scarier if they used their coach's face instead

AD Krebs was asked what kind of behavior would result in a suspension for the coach, a great question considering the light penalty for the assault.  He responded that he wasn’t intimately familiar with the university’s personnel rules and defended his decision to reprimand Locksley.  No kidding!   “Based on what I know, I thought it was an appropriate penalty,” Krebs said.  Time to pull out the rule book, and perhaps start looking for a new job!

Meanwhile Coach Locksley’s designated punching bag, Gerald, wasn’t with the team in practice last week before the New Mexico State loss.  Supposedly Locksley asked Gerald personally to return, but he has not made an appearance back with the team.  Can you blame him???

Video of local news story…

Posted by: cali4dre | September 29, 2009

Coaches Gone Wild, Part II: Hanson’s Direct Dish on Cable

A true crime of passion

A true crime of passion

08/05/09 –  This story comes to us thanks to a local Bay Area “role model”, Tom Cable.  For those who don’t recognize the name, Mr. Cable is the latest Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders.  Over the summer at their practice facility in Napa, Tom allegedly felt it would be appropriate to punch an assistant, Randy Hanson, in the face during a meeting.  Hanson reportedly suffered either a broken jaw or cheek bone, the actual result of the assault is still unconfirmed.   As you can see the story is not exactly cut and dry, so allow me provide a little more background on the he-said-she-said situation.

Oh, and I promised to go easy on the Raider jokes, not because I have several buddies who are Raider fans but more because I know Cable must live within an hour’s drive of my house, and that’s way too close.

Tom Cable's Brain: Enlarged for better viewing

Tom Cable's Brain: Enlarged for better viewing

Remember the Napa Police Dept. is still investigating the assault from August 5th, so nothing is official at this point.  The initial investigation was delayed because Hanson, a defensive assistant, was not cooperating at the time.  Hanson stuck with the claim that he was hurt when his face hit a cabinet after the chair he was sitting in was flipped over by Cable at the team’s training camp facility in Napa.  However, the case was re-opened and Hanson is now working authorities after being told by owner Al Davis that he would not get his old job back.  Suddenly his face hurts a lot more, probably feels a little like the way Al’s face looks, actually.

Then there is Cable’s side of the story.  He told former college teammate and current ESPN NFL Analyst Mark Schlereth that nothing happened, and that this was an internal matter.  Apparently the report from Chris  Mortensen at ESPN that said Cable attacked Hanson after the assistant verbally contested something defensive coordinator John Marshall had said was totally false.  He doesn’t seem to be brushing anything under the rug, does he? 

That's right, you better start running...

That's right, you better start running...

The story I liked the best?  The National Football Post reported on Thursday August 20th that Cable choked Hanson during the confrontation and threatened to kill Hanson.  The NFP also reported that the attack happened after Cable told Hanson he was being relegated from an on-field coach with defensive backs to breaking down film.  I also love how the Napa Police won’t release names but the NFP has no problem with it.  By the way that sounds like a fun meeting room, all kinds of action and you could really feel the love, can’t you?  How do you spell  dysfun…   nevermind.

So after further review I will reserve my own opinion until responsibility is either taken or given here.  Mr. Cable you can rest for now.  But believe me: I’ll be back to this post when the time comes.  And nothing is sacred!

 

http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/Breaking-Raiders-coach-injured-in-altercation.html  National Football Post

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4513485  ESPN’s latest update

Posted by: cali4dre | September 28, 2009

Coaches Gone Wild, Part I: The Hawai’ian Rainbow

Isaiah: poster boy for coaches with huge issues...

Isaiah: poster boy for coaches with issues...

If you are a new coach at any level, whether it’s high school, college, or professional athletics, boy do I have a treat for you this week!  With the rash of poor decisions being made by high profile coaches across the country,  I have compiled four excellent examples of how not to behave as a person in such a position.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are several others out there, but these seemed to be the highest profile cases. 

Each of these individuals is well versed in dealing with the media and speaking in front of large crowds.  It pretty much comes with the position, because even at the high school level coaches are asked to make speeches for groups like Booster Clubs, local Rotary chapters, or Pop Warner/Little League/etc. to encourage young athletes.  By the time coaches reach college and the pros, they are used to speaking in front of thousands and at times millions via broadcast.  Whether they are in front of 10 media members, 100 club members, several thousand students, or on TV, coaches are asked to be a leader of their community and a positive influence in all facets of life.

This week I will present the case of each “Coach Gone Wild” starting in chronological order of events from the summer and early fall.   We’ll examine exactly what they did and where they went wrong, and believe me it won’t be very difficult to find.

 

Ah, they're so cute and cuddly

Brah, bathroom is that way!

07/30/09 – Hawai’i football coach Greg McMackin makes a huge blunder at the WAC media football preview for the 2009 season.  Coach McMackin described how Notre Dame, their opponent and guest at the 2009 Hawai’i Bowl, had done “this little (gay slur beginning with f-) dance” at a celebration the night before.  He used the term not once but three times while explaining why Notre Dame might have been so fired up to play Hawai’i in the 2008 Hawai’i Bowl.  At the banquet the night before, as the Fighting Irish finished their version of a “ha’a”, an intense Polynesian war dance and chant performed by the Warrior’s before each game, Coach McMackin had his boys show up the Irish with a dramatic performance of their own.  Needless to say this made quite the impression on the entire banquet, and the next day’s game was won handily by Notre Dame 49-21, giving them their first post-season victory in the past 15 years.

Not so cool Coach, not so cool

Not so cool Coach, not so cool

Here is Coach McMackin’s explanation of what happened and why: “What I was trying to do was be funny and it wasn’t funny,” he said, according to a recording of the conversation posted on the Idaho Statesman’s Web site (provided below, with full graphic language of original statements). “It’s not funny. Even more, it isn’t funny to me. I was trying to make a joke and it was a bad choice of words. And I really, really feel bad about it. … It was really stupid.”

Bravo Coach, hindsight is 20/20, but the damage has been done because you’ve made it apparent the word rests on the tip of your tongue as an insult.  We the general public understands a word like that is used a hundred times a day on the field and in the weight room all across the country.  It’s not right there as it’s not right anywhere, but those are your places and you do as you please.  The WAC 2009 Preview event is definitely the last place you want to use a word like that.  Thank you for bringing your locker-room mentality and verbiage out to for show and tell so the public can fear and pity the sad state of affairs in athletics today.

  

http://voices.idahostatesman.com/node/20709  article –Idahostatesman.com

http://www.tri-cityherald.com/1412/story/666185.html  article – tri-cityherald.com

 

Posted by: cali4dre | September 24, 2009

First Edition: Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes

First Edition – Top Ten Chuck Norris Jokes: 

 (This will be a new weekly series, as long as Chuck Norris allows it…)

 

Chuck Norris Approved10) If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. 

9)  Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. 

8 )  The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

7)  There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

6)  Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.chuck norris toilet paper

5)  Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

4)  Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

3)  Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

2)  Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

1)  There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. 

Posted by: cali4dre | September 23, 2009

Matt Ziesel’s Touchdown Scamper

In case you didn’t see this yet, here’s a feel good story that thankfully is becoming more and more frequent.  It’s about sportsmanship and a love of the game going hand in hand.  Matt Ziesel has Down Syndrome, but that didn’t stop him from living out his dream of scoring a touchdown in a football game.  Always ready to play, that’s how his coaches describe Matt.  And thanks to their opponents, Maryville HS, who were up already 46-0 with 10 seconds to go in the game, St. Joseph Benton was able to hand-off on there last play of the game and, well, see for yourself.

I’ve included a great article below that recaps the story very well.  Enjoy.

http://www.kansascity.com/706/story/1452971.html 

Matt is the Captain of the Freshman All-American Attitude Team

Matt is the Captain of the Freshman All-American Attitude Team

Posted by: cali4dre | September 22, 2009

Another fine example of how Facebook Ruins Lives

 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32972597/ns/health-health_care/

Questionable Practice

Questionable Practice

 

So Med School students are in fact dumber than they look… at least according to this AP story above.
 
Take a look, anything strike you as a bit contrite?   Everything??

  

 

Ok, here’s my favorite part of the Article…

"Professional" Quotes

Learning the Hard Way

I have to agree with the professional trendspotter, if what she said seems really obvious, that would be because IT IS.  Medical students are in fact young adults, not monkeys or tables, young adults.  And young adults are prone to making stupid mistakes, for which we have social networking sites such as Facebook to help remind us.  But you would think someone who has passed an MCAT and received fairly decent grades in undergrad would be smart enough to not post ridiculous and incriminating evidence on-line.  Apparently not.

Oh, and Susan Barnes, let’s hope it does come back to haunt them because we’re talking about adults making these mistakes, not elementary or junior high kids.  These are supposed to be our best and brightest, the cream of the educational crop left in charge of our livelihood in many cases.  Do YOU want someone who was immature enough to take advantage of their position at school and work at any time in their career? 

Doctor-Patient-Lawyer PrivilegeUpon Further Review: Perhaps going to Med School is a Right for those who work extremely hard, but it’s definitely not a Luxury and will always be a Privilege.  Let us allow those who don’t understand or appreciate this concept weed themselves out through Natural Selection.  Thank you Facebook (and YouTube), job well done! 

Sad to say, laughter is not ALWAYS the best medicine…

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